you broke it.

2005-04-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

OFF TO HIATUS..

2005-04-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

i wonder how i'm supposed to face him tomorrow.
uh, screw love. E/>

2005-04-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

you gave me hopes that i thought i could rely on,
you gave me hopes that almost made me have a chance to call you 'mine'.

you made me think of you all the time,
you made me dream of you all the time.

i see you every time i close my eyes,
your smile, your eyes, your hair, your everything.

i almost had you,
i almost made you loved me.

i screwed things up,
now call me an asshole.

i'm sorry... E/>

2005-04-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

new layout finally up.
my stupid com died on me last night so i had to upload only until today. _-_

simple layouts kick arse.
hope you guys like it. :]

2005-04-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

-updates.
i am still alive. :]

2005-04-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

i won't be in singapore until tomorrow. (that's sunday)
going back for mid-autumn festival for my grandpa.
i will miss all of you, plenty.

btw i'm in love....
FOR REAL.<3 <3

2005-03-27T17:55:00.000-08:00

dear boy,

you gave me false hopes and you broke my heart.
i don't like this feeling at all.
why did you hurt me with all your words in just one day? :'(
today, i was left drowning my tears in the rain.
i was left crying in the rain on easter day.

and what did i get back in return for today?
a broken heart and a really bad cold.

yours truely,
girl.

2005-03-25T15:04:00.000-08:00

and so, i cut my own hair again today.
it was getting long so i finally got my lazy ass to razor my hair off.
but wtf, it turned out shorter that i expected it to be.
lol i kinda regret cutting it off but then again, i'm kinda lazy to tie my hair up to school everyday. and my hair's getting thicker as it grows longer. how annoying. >:(

2005-03-25T01:27:00.000-08:00

oh yay.
new layout.
red + black = major love. :D

2005-03-24T12:54:00.000-08:00

i cabut-ed school today.
mwahaha. go me. :D

btw, i love all my blogspot friends. <3

2005-03-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

HELLO WORLD.
omg i swear my back's aching like a bitch. thanks to that bass that weighed like 10000 zillion tones. and that amp? lol it makes my arm aches, REALLY BAD. :(

performance in school was okay. the band i was playing with had an awful guitarist and he screwed things up as usual. >:/ BOOOOOOOO.
everybody's like "weiny, why are you with this band? it's such a waste that you're in the same band as -insert name here-. he's like so egoistic when he plays the guitar. did you see how he looked like when you guys was performing just now? omg seriously you deserve to be in a much better band."
haha, do you know how much that sucked? all i said was "well i've got no idea. he wants me to play the bass for him so i decided to join him. besides it's over, maybe i will join another band next time."

do you know who haizad is? or whatever his name is?
you know, that dood from singapore idol. got kicked out when he almost made it to the top 12. the guy that sang "this i promise you"?
haha, do you know he's the younger brother of 2 of my teachers in school? yes, how fucking rad is that?
he came down to perform for us today. he was even the special vocalist for one of the songs my band covered!
i swear, upon god, he. is. so. fucking. cute. with. his. new. hair.

so, he shook my hand and said i did an awesome job on stage.
haha he told me he wished he could play the bass and sing like me.
such a sweet guy right? teehee.
and thank you mr hafiz for complimenting me so much. you know you did an awesome job on stage as well.
thank you for being the special vocalist for one of our songs as well. it'd be an awesome pleasure to work with you again.

teehee okay. today's a good good day.
he* made me smiled? haha yeah he did. <3

2005-03-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

fuck.
i hate him.
-screams.

2005-03-16T21:28:00.000-08:00

oh my.
i am sorry for not blogging for ages.
nyehhhhh. i need new school shoes.
i want the converse black monochrome high cuts. :(
hoho. we've been talking these few days.
no idea, but whatever faisal told me seems to be what's on my head about us. :/
weird, but i seem to miss him.
haha whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
i'll most probly take a short break.
be back with a new layout. :D

2005-03-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

he broke his vow,
of not falling in love with a minah.
and now he actually said HE loves HER!?
wtf. now you make me hate you more mister.
thank god we're so last summer.
-smirks.

2005-03-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

-screams. ahhh, there's so many shit to be done. :( homework, class tee design, jamming sessions, auditions..
geez, i swear i'm gonna turn crazy soon.
and wtf, i have like 4 tests this week. -whines.
btw, thanks to all that tagged.
and sopek, you're not good looking than me.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.
LOLOLOLOL.
ooooook go!

2005-03-04T23:26:00.000-08:00

i hate how you're the reason i'm losing sleep.
i hate how you're everything i want and need.
i hate how you hold back.
i hate how your lips grazed mine so softly.
i hate how beautiful you look in the rain.
i hate how you were made for me..

2005-03-03T17:57:00.000-08:00

remember the time, when you took my breath away?
the time you said you and i was fine?
the time when you said you won't let go of my hand?
the time when you said you loved me for the first time?

remember the time, when you broke my heart?
the time i was left picking up the pieces alone?
the time you thought i was sick of you?
the time you said "let's end this"?
the time i cried so hard i couldn't breathe?
the time i inflicted pain on myself just for you?

you were never here when i was left alone,
trying to work things out for the better in this relationship.
i've lost everything ever since you've been gone,
guess you will never know what it's like being left alone,
thinking what it's like to have you here with me once again..

i miss you more than ever,
these thoughts are killing me.
i wished time could replace the memories we had together, but it won't happen.
i can't bear to lay my hands to delete those text messages you sent me,
those lovely testimonials you gave me,
and all the past chat logs we had together.

i wished i could make it up to you,
make you know how much i miss your presence still,
how much i need you by my side,
how much i need you to take my hand to lead me up to heaven again,
how much i need you to make me fall in love again..

my heart aches, a lot.

2005-03-02T19:01:00.000-08:00

i think i'm doing great in forgetting my ex-romance.
guess it's the motivation i have in school.
and maybe because we are really better off our own.
i caught him* stealing glances at me in school today.
well, sheila saw too.
and he* smiled and said goodbye to me.
-looks at her heart shrinks.

yes, weiny is captivated by that boy in school.
for once her heart's beating so fast because of him.

<333

2005-03-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

layout theme; i never thought you would let go.
song; matchbook romance - promise.
dedicated; to the one and only him. i miss your presence so much it's killing me. i need you by my side more than i ever did. :(

2005-02-28T17:48:00.000-08:00

the show went well yesterday. the crowd was awesome. thank you to all our friends that came down to support us. we're glad you enjoyed our performance. we will update you guys if we have an upcoming performance again. :D

torn paperbook will be having an audition on the 11th of march 2005 for some school gig once again. if we get through, we'll be playing on the 8th of april 2005 at paya lebar methodist girls' school. :D

PLEASE COME DOWN SUPPORT IF WE MAKE IT.
...i know it's kinda early but just in case.

oh and btw, guess who i saw yesterday at esplanade? the ex ex-boyfriend khai along with his band, juliet's diary. -smirks.

2005-02-26T16:46:00.000-08:00

TORN PAPERBOOK WILL BE PLAYING TOMORROW (27/2) AT ITE BISHAN'S OPEN HOUSE FROM 3.15PM TO 3.45PM.
...please do come and support!

btw, we broke up last night. guess it's the end of everything we both loved. 3 months, and goodbye. tho it's the end of the pain that i'm sick of, i still miss him. past love passed by, but i guess we're better off our own. sigh oh sigh.. :'(

2005-02-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

TORN PAPERBOOK WILL BE PLAYING THIS SUNDAY AT ITE BISHAN FROM 3.15PM - 3.45PM.

yes, we got through the auditions today. -cheers! so, for those who want to come down to support us, please do so. :) you can come earlier if you want to because we will be practicing from 10am onwards. maybe come earlier and go look around that ite? -laughs.

btw, i got complimented by some of the peeps today. they said i sang well and it made my heart itch. :D it's a nice feeling actually. thank god i didn't screw up my vox during the auditions. hahaha, my hands were shaking and i couldn't breathe when we had to take our positions. my bandmate's teacher said i sang well too. someone even asked me if i ever did sang in a gig before. -snorts. the boys there were love anyway. thank you for cheering. ;)

so to those that wanna come down this sunday, it'd be really nice to see you guys there. <3

2005-02-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

oh and god damn it,
i'm addicted to my chemical romance - helena.
when i grow up, i wanna be just like her.
-laughs. K BEDEK.

2005-02-20T22:18:00.000-08:00

my pretty mister* said;

"hold my hand and promise me that you'll never let me go."

sheesh. i want to marry that boy, FAST. <3

2005-02-19T19:06:00.000-08:00

uhm..i have absolutely nothing to blog at all but still yeah, just a few updates;

- jamming rock yesterday. i love my bandmates! :D
- i miss my pretty mister*. sigh sigh sigh.

oh and to kikan; thanks for tagging and i know it's pointless continuing the relationship if we have like so many ups and downs. but sometimes, it's not as easy as you think it is. how can you actually let go of someone you've been deeply in love with since day 1? :) but thank you anyway. i appreciate it a lot.

btw, torn paperbook will be playing next sunday (27th febuary 2005) at ite bishan's open house. so if any of you are free on that day or you'd let to catch us in action, do drop by and support us. :)

details unconfirmed tho. all i know is we'll be playing from morning till noon. i'll update you guys with the details once i know about it.

OK GO!

2005-02-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

happy 2 months and 14 days anniversary.
....with ups and downs in between.

tho we've been hurting each other a lot the past few days,
i still heart you many many, boyfriend. <3*

2005-02-16T18:03:00.000-08:00

no more goodbye lullabies anymore. my pretty mister* and i are in good terms once again. i know you guys are most probly sick seeing us on and off most of the time. i apologise to everybody that i whined to when my pretty mister* and i aren't in good terms. thank you for being there listening to me whine like a bitch. :)

and to my pretty mister*; thank you for being the sweetest no matter what. you make me feel as if i've taken in too many chocolates. :) your words melt my heart like how chocolates do in our mouths. you're such a wonderful boy and i heart you many many.. <3

2005-02-15T17:12:00.000-08:00

goodbye pretty mister*. i guess we're over for good. i hope you read this because i can't seem to tell you this in person. you've been everything i wanted, everything i hoped for. thank you for the sweet memories that we shared together. thank you for loving me for who i am. i'm sorry to say this but i'm letting go of this romance. i've thought through things carefully and i guess we're better off our own ways. you've been really sweet in this romance all this while and i thank you lots. too bad we are slowly drifting apart because of the countless times of hurting each other. thank you still, you will always be part of my wonderful past. :)

i hope the best for you no matter what. you will always be remembered no matter what happened. thank you many many.

and, i just have to say this;
that pretty bassist in school melted my heart today with his look. ♥

2005-02-14T21:00:00.000-08:00

jeng jeng jeng. first of all, i would like to thank EVERYBODY that gave me valentine's gifts today. you guys totally kicked major ass. i really appreciate your gifts a lot. i'll return all of them to you guys most probably by the end of this week. i'm too broke now since i've spent like 3/4 of my money on the gifts just now. and thank you faisal for accompanying me. i hope you like the valentine's gift i bought for you. :)

thank you ****** for smiling at me and looking at me so differently from the last time you did. thank you for making me smile with your side view. did i tell you how much it totally kills? and your eyes, your new hairstyle and everything just melts my heart. i must admit you're one attractive boy indeed. it'd be a dream if you were mine. it'd be a fantasy come true if i actually get to call you mine. it's already a fairytale to know someone like you. no matter what happens, these feelings will be kept deep inside. E>

and to my pretty mister*, sorry that i'm losing faith in both of us, sorry that i'm trying to let go. i am sick and tired of this pain i don't wanna go on..

2005-02-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

-BURRPPPSSS.

meh, i'm fucking full. had duck flavoured instant noodles for dinner along with a cup of lemon tee. heavenly indeed. :D heh, tomorrow's valentine's day. i'm sure most of you have dates right? poor weiny's gonna spend a boring valentine's herself tomorrow. yes, no dear mister* for me because he doesn't want to be asked out by me. -laughs. most probly we're going out this coming saturday because he says so. yes, do pray for me everything's gonna be awesome people!

i heart my mister many many. E>

2005-02-12T22:51:00.000-08:00

edit; i just realised my tables are overlapping each other on internet explorer. it looks okay on firefox so i'll try to fix the codes. :/ please do give me time to edit the codes, kthx.

HELLO.

yes yes, new layout. :D i hope it looks okay tho it's pretty simple. the original one was supposed to look much better and smaller with a grey background. but no matter how i edit the codes i can't seem to get the color of the background i want. -.- so i re-did the whole thing and change it to white with a bigger background. i somehow prefer the grey one tho. hahaha, but who cares, at least my blog have a new look. :X

today's such a boring day. all i did was send my ex-boyfriend, calvin, off to the airport because he was going back to the states. he gave me a peck on the cheek unexpectaly. :/ uh yeah, went over to keith's place and his mum cooked spaghetti for dinner. i swear upon god it was fucking delicious. anyways, we spent most of the time watching movies at his place. but i spent most of my time smsing my dear mister* on keith's bed. *laughs* yes i heart him to many many bits.

okay, i don't really have much to blog about but i really do hope you guys enjoy the new look. and iryani, i hate you because your new layout is effing gorgeous. x(

OKAY GO!

2005-02-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

okay, i'm back from malaysia. sorry for not blogging yesterday. was kinda lazy so yeah. :P anyways, i had an awesome time back in malaysia. i'm so happy to see all of my cousins because it's been ages since i last saw some of them! i got myself tons of things too hurhur. spent most of my malaysia cash from the red packets i got. new chucks, new slippers, the used's in love and death cd, green day's american idiot cd, hoobastank's the reason cd, nightmare before christmas wallet and brand new bright yellow and lime nail polish. :DD

btw, i am fucking disappointed with THIS particular guy. he added me on friendster, talked to me on msn messenger, sweet talked, ass kissed me by telling me how cool i was and in the end? he fucking betrayed the shit out of me. i don't want to reveal his name because i am sure he knows who he really is. he disgusts the shit outta me. and whatever, block me on msn, tell shit to your friends so they can flame MINE and YOUR tagboard. bloody loser, i've never offended you. to think that i actually treated you like a really nice lil' boy/friend. yuck, the thought of you just make me sick. be glad that i didn't do anything to you. be glad that i just deleted you off friendster and removed your link. *rolls eyes*

2005-02-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

this will be my last entry since i'm going back to malaysia for chinese new year celebration tomorrow. and so, to everybody that is celebrating chinese new year, i hope you have a wonderful one and hope you guys get tons and tons of red packets.

and to my one and only; BIG BIG HEARTS TO YOU, because i'm so gonna miss you. -i heart you MANY MANY.

in the meanwhile, have fun, gain weight, and MISS ME! :DD

2005-02-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

(extracted from my livejournal)

MUSIC NATION 2005 WAS OKAY...

but the crowd was kinda sucky.

I AM MAKING THIS A PUBLIC POST BECAUSE EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS.

i didn't mosh at all because i was really irritated with some of the people in the crowd. all i did was stood there and watch the bands play. there were countless of times when i got dragged into the pit. gah, that made me pissed off even more. -.-

and to whoever that broke the ceiling, you're just a fucking coward because you drove off in your bike when the crews confronted you. you should be responsible for your actions and not just run away like that. and you stupid asshole, i call you that because you punched zyana in the face. who fucking cares if you're a fucking skinhead? do you think we care if you're in the culture or whatever shit? you absolutely have no right to punch a girl in the face when she confronted you.

i'm still pissed off until now. :/ gigs with crowds like that disgusts the fuck out of me. it's not the bands, not the crews, but the crowd that thinks breaking stuffs is right when we tell them not to that. YOU are not the ones paying for the damages, the crews are.

for all i know, i don't think another gig will be held in republic poly anymore.

now say thank you to the SKINHEADS. _|_

2005-02-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

somebody has a fucking problem with me he's flaming poor sadiq's tagboard. he thinks i am a sore loner with no true friends. seriously, if he has a problem with me, does he have the right to flame my new friend's blog? the answer's no. i've never done anything to make him despise me, and morever, i don't even know who the fucking hell he really is. i don't care and i can't be bothered. if he keeps insisting that i'm someone with no true friends, go ahead and think that way because it's my life, not his.

and to the "craig" which i didn't know existed; your words didn't affect me in any way at all. but thank you for flamming sadiq's blog. that made me realised what a immature person you really are. :)

CIP was okay today. saw a lot of cute cheena boys but ain't interested in them hahaha. but acs(barker) number 8's fucking hot sex. i think he's chinese but he has the looks of a malay. very cute indeed. :D and thank you mr lim for sending me home today. you made me save one bus fare. *laughs*

oh, and did i tell you mr lim wants me to bring my cds for tomorrow's fitness day? lol, imagine emo/punk rock played while doing exercises tomorrow. awesome? yes indeed.

and to the boy in my life now; you've never failed to make me smile. your words are the most calming ones to my ears. thank you for accepting me and listening to me bitch about what i really feel these few days. thank you for making me better even tho i said stuffs to you that i shouldn't. you are the most wonderful guy i've ever come across. :) i love you.

2005-02-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

do you remember the time when you and i were fine?
hiding under the apple tree there was no one but you and me,
we would hide from passing cars and we would have the summer stars.

and we were better then then we'd ever been before.
you came back to me after walking out my door,
you would call me on the phone before you even got home,
without me you said you were all alone.

the cold wind that blows all the things i used to know,
how could it play so fast never thought you'd be part of my past?
would i trade it all again to get you out of my head?

cause we were better then then we'd ever been before.
you came back to me after walking out my door,
you would call me on the phone before you even got home,
without me you said you were all alone..alone..
without me by your side,
you said you were all alone.
give me one more chance,
to prove myself to you.
all the little things that i long to do, (when you run away)
would you trade the course, (you said that you'd be)
so that i could hold you? (coming out my front porch)
would it all go away (just to see me)
and my heart is breaking.
would you hear me baby?
as the tears are longing,
for what it used to be...

taking back sunday - summer stars.

hello all of you. i'm super depressed tho i tried to act as if nothing happened in front of my friends. guess i did a great job because they seem to think that i'm happy. (when i'm hurting deep inside) i'm still guilty over what i've done and said. how i wished i could take all the pain that i've caused him back. i wish he knew i still really like him alot. i wish he knew that i really hope we could continue with our lives with the sparks and everything. i want him to know i wanna be with him, now and forever. but seriously, after what i've done, do you think he will even forgive me and give me a chance to prove to him my feelings again? *sigh* i know the answer's no.

your voice is the silent breaking of my heart.

2005-02-01T16:02:00.000-08:00

mmm mmm! strawberry cheesepie is love. :D it's like, whoa! a sensation. teehee. anyway, school was okay. i wrote faisal a song last night because he wanted me to. mean boy laughed when he read the first sentence! psh, at least i bothered to write for him right!? hahaha, but hopefully he will like it la. (faisal, you'd better like it or else..hahaha. :P)

mr daniel, thought i smiled at him today. *smirks* i mean c'mon la. who wants to smile at him? i was smiling at aaron because he called me, and at the same time he was sitting next to daniel. argh, daniel always assumes that i like him which sucks big time. :/ i've got much more things to do then waste my fucking time fantasizing about him being mine. i don't have a crush on him but i admit he's hot la. but then again, i think it's my fault still for sending the wrong signals to him. (i told him he was hot and he kept assuming that i like him from then on. -.-) why can't he just stop going around boasting to his friends that I, have a crush on, HIM!? gross la. i'm sick of seeing his friends' eyes glued on me wherever i go and whatever i do. i've got freedom, damnit.

i know you guys will get bored reading about me bitching about daniel. but i just can't help it. and i swear, most of my journal entries will consist on mr daniel b osman. okay whatever, i love fariz. HAHA bye! :D

2005-01-31T17:22:00.000-08:00

HELLO.

school was okay today. got a new accounts teacher because our former teacher, mr lee c.w, resigned because of i don't know what reasons. i somehow miss him a lot tho. :( kinda regret not treasuring him when he was around. sigh, but i guess there's no point regretting now. miss diana koh will be our accounts teacher from today onwards. hopefully i will buck up and not slack anymore. i wanna show mr lee i can do it with a new guidance. :)

btw, did i tell you how i can't stand his friends? fucked up kids. why can't they stop staring at me for once!? no matter where i go i have his friends' eyes locked on me which sucks big time. -.- for once and for all, let me make it clear to you guys;

i do not have a crush mohammad daniel b osman.

okay. i think that definitely sorted everything straight so please stop the daniel b osman's issues.

sorry for bitching, and thank you for understanding. :)))

HE MENDED IT.

2005-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

it's the beating of your heart baby.. <3

HELLO PEOPLE.

i've been spending days at home and it's killing me. stupid parents. grounded me for nothing. _-_ argh, i wonder how long it will last tho. my mum should seriously die because she's always making up fake lies. :// anyways, there will be a gig this coming saturday (5 feb 05) at the annex hall of republic poly. please do go down and support!! if you need more details about the gig, you can check out the flyer i made here. i know it's not awesome but just look at the details and please don't comment much. :)

anyways, this broken heart was mended again because of him. damn, can somebody tell me when will he ever stop being so effing sweet? and thanks to all that tagged on the board. that's a lot of tags considering my blog's only a day old.

he broke it..

2005-01-29T23:44:00.000-08:00

give me back the love that i've showered you with,
the emotions you made me felt,
the words i said to you,
take back everything that you've given me,
and please stay away from me,
i don't need you anymore..

HELLO!!

2005-01-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

why hello people. i finally got my lazy ass to create the template for my blog. -.- okay anyway, this shall be my public journal while my livejournal will be my private one. only lucky friends get to read my livejournal entries. :D

uh, i don't really have anything to blog so i just hope the template looks okay. and i know the graphic looks kinda weird without the face colored, but i am lazy so bear with me. _-_ and yes i made the template. :) k enough said. if any of you wants to get linked just let me know.